i've realized why i'm not writing anymore.
i'm not posting on my blogs, not writing in my notebooks, havent done anything new in DA for weeks, and i cant even doodle anymore.
this was all things i did to take my mind off my grandma.
it allowed me not to think about it, and numb my mind and body by sitting at a computer for hours on end.

so far i'm ignored my denial.
it hasnt sunk in yet. she's not really dead.
but when i think that, i know its not real
and i feel the emptiness in my head an stomache.